February 10, 2009

Don left us Sunday, February 8. We miss him so much.

Friends are invited to celebrate Don's life at a memorial service Thursday in Milwaukie:

Thursday, February 12, 2009
2 pm
St. John the Evangelist Episcopal Church
2036 SE Jefferson Street
Milwaukie OR 97222
Location by MapQuest

A gathering celebrating Don's life will be held at his sister's home in Clackamas following the service. Directions will be available at the service or e-mail his sister for directions.

Please bring your memories and photos. Don recounted some of his adventures over the last six months but we're learning more each day about his impact as a climbing teacher, climbing partner and friend.

Don requested no flowers. He would be honored by remembrances to Friends of the Columbia Gorge, an organization passionate about preserving the Columbia River Gorge where he loved to hike, or to the emergency food program at William Temple House.

Friends of the Columbia Gorge
522 SW Fifth Avenue, Suite 720
Portland, OR 97204
http://www.gorgefriends.org/

William Temple House
2023 NW Hoyt Street
Portland, OR 97209
http://www.williamtemple.org/

We received a link today to remembrances of Don at the Cascade Climbers forum. Friends and family may enjoy reading them at the Cascade Climbers web site: http://cascadeclimbers.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/topics/866639/Re_A_good_friend_and_climber_p#Post866639


We love you Don.

Your family...Mom, Dad, Diane, Donna, John, Mike and Brian

January 31, 2009

Don is trying to rest as comfortably as possible. He's at home surrounded by family. His spirit remains positive despite all he has been through since his diagnosis 5-1/2 months ago.We've done a lot of reminiscing lately. Don's talked about some of his favorite spots - Angel's Rest in the Columbia Gorge, a secret crag in Oregon, Joshua Tree in California, Smith Rocks in Central Oregon, Mt. Jefferson and Mt. Washington in the Oregon Cascades, Mt. Rainier. Don has a lot of favorite spots but liked to say that his favorite hike or climb was always the one he was on at the moment. I admire that...living enough in the present to really enjoy where you are and what you're experiencing.
Thank you to everyone who keeps Donald in their prayers to people like…

The wonderful caring staff at Waluga Junior High where Donna has taught for 28 years who kept our family fed for so many nights. What a godsend.

Family and friends in Connecticut and across the East Coast who have been so supportive despite the miles. The cards, goodie baskets, gift certificates for take out and prayers are wonderful.

The Gonthier, Frey and Callahan cousins who shared Christmas Eve with us via web cam.

People like Bob whose church prays for Don each week.

Dana who lit a candle for Don at St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

For the family, friends and colleagues who always ask about Don and remind us that our entire family is in their thoughts and prayers.

Most of all we thank Don who lost his ability to climb rocks and mountains, to read, and to enjoy mathematics in what seems like an instant but has remained positive and with his dry sense of humor intact. We thank Don for never being shy about saying how much he loves us.

Don, we love you.

Decisions - January 5, 2009

Today, January 5th, Don decided to focus on maintaining the highest quality of life possible and opted not to pursue more aggressive chemotherapy. His goal is to enjoy his family, loved ones and friends as much as possible.

Don's treatment included 33 days of radiation at Oregon Health and Sciences University. Don believes that the treatments stabilized him but did not result in meaningful improvement of symptoms.

Don went through two rounds - one 42 days long, the second 5 days - of Temodar chemo, an infusion of Avastin (a second was cancelled because of his low platelet count), three hospitalizations, and more MRI exams than he can count. He underwent conventional diagnostic MRI as well as about 20 hours in an MRI as part of a study at OHSU.

Because of it's location in the brain stem, Don's tumor is inoperable by conventional means (is there such a thing in brain surgery?) as well as by cyper knife. He is not a candidate for a promising study that is exploring a vaccine.

How we wish there was something encouraging to try.....

Christmas 2008

The Gonthier cousins got the holiday off to a great start when Matthew and Michael Frey arranged a web cam Christmas Eve reunion...a Memere moment minus the three-season porch. Mom, Dad, John, Donna and I are all immensely grateful for being a part of the reunion. We're weren't sure Don would be able to take part but he rallied and was able to say hello as well as receive everyone's well wishes and love.

We had a quiet Christmas. Don was able to enjoy dinner with us. The picture is of John, Don and nephew Brian. Brian made sure that his uncles had the appropriate hip hop headware.

Encouraging Messages - Fall 2008

Don has received cards, letters and calls from family and friends over the last months. Here are just a few of the messages of encouragement and strength...

"I know how grateful you are for your family at this time and feel overwhelmed at their dedication but try to accept that you are giving them a wonderful gift to be with you on this journey. I know that when I had to decide to fight or give in, I was leaning toward giving up because I did not want to put my family through a long period of doing for me. However, it was my youngest son, Steve, who was so angry that I would not fight to live and for me to give them the opportunity to do for me what I would do for them. He said I was selfish and thought only of myself, that he knew I was a fighter and I would let him down. So I did not want to leave without at least trying, knowing that the final decision when and if it got too much I had the final say.

I said a prayer for you today and know God must have heard.
I felt the answer in my heart although he spoke no word.
I know you wouldn't mind.
I asked him to send treasures of a far lasting kind.
I asked that he be near you at the start of each new day.
To grant you health and blessings and friends to share you way.
I asked for happiness for you in all things great and small.
But it was for his loving care I prayed the most of all.

You are in our thoughts here in Ct, Your loving Aunt Marie and Tom"

"I think about you often and you are always included in my memories and stories of my adventures in climbing even though they were small and insignificant when compared to yours. I always enjoyed Matt's colorful stories of your adventures. Don, you're a great person and you were an outstanding mentor to me as I was learning to climb in Gary's class. You were a good example of remaining calm when in a stressful environment. That is something I am trying to figure out now. I am going through Portland's Fire Academy and I am struggling a bit trying to keep my composure in stressful situations.

Where did time go? Life seemed so simple when you took Matt and I up Beacon Rock 16 years ago. That was a great day. I was 20 yrs old and in charge of my own destiny and untouchable by the burdens and stresses of life. You bought us the first beer I ever had on the way back...Henry Weinhardt Ale. Thanks for that. I got drunk on more of it that night. Met my wife for the first time that night as well. Don, take care of yourself. You'll stay in my thoughts and prayers, Bruce."

"What I've learned this year is that there are a lot of dedicated people willing to help cure the disease. There is also an even greater force of humanity lending support. We are all pulling for you guys. Thoughts and prayers are in your corner. Be strong....(cousin) Matthew"

August 19, 2008

Don is diagnosed with a brain tumor following a traffic accident in Boise, Idaho. The initial prognosis is horrible.

Don has experienced vision problems in recent weeks, has been to the eye doctor and had an appointment scheduled with a specialist. Don suffered a significant loss of vision (which caused the accident) and has considerable weakness on his right side.

Don is determined to fight.